She looked out the window, turning her wandering gaze to the drifting clouds. She would’ve given all she owned for one single night of freedom. Freedom from the invisible shackles she had been sold into. Freedom from these people that kept her wings torn apart, locked away. She wanted to fly again but she had forgotten how or where. She didn’t have a direction to head anymore.
Stop dreaming girl. You’ve got work to do.
Those same words echoed over and over her mind. They were the only things that gave her strength to turn back to the mirror. But when she gazed at herself, she didn’t see the beauty others saw in her. She didn’t see the talent she was always complimented for. All she saw was a small girl sitting at a dark corner, crying herself to sleep over and over again.
She didn’t even remember what it was like to be that girl, even though she still lived within her. She had forgotten what it was like to feel your own emotions. Not told what to feel. Not told what to look like. Not told how to live. Did she really know how to live in the first place, or was it just an illusion she had been dreaming of all this time? Maybe there was no such thing as life in the first place. Everyone just kept on going by the orders given to them.
And like every single night for the past 10 years, she masked herself behind layers of makeup. Her hair was still pulled back and decorated, while her tight kimono remained her only piece of freedom. She had selected that kimono from two dozen possibilities. It had been her choice. The only choice she had been allowed to make.
Everything was set when she stepped upon the familiar stage. The ruckus started, people were clapping and hurray echoed within the walls before anything had even happened. Sadness took over her when she sat down in the middle of the stage in seiza style. She placed her hands gently on her lap and straightened her back to find the elegance to her posture. She had been taught well.
For a brief moment she closed her eyes. One deep breath to relax. One deep breath and you’re alone.
When her lips parted and the words came out, she let go of her struggle. She was alone in the darkness she saw even when she opened her deep blue eyes. She didn’t see the drunken crowd, but the clouds drifting in the distant skies. She didn’t hear the noise of the small place, but the music that echoed behind her. The soft piano kept playing somewhere, unseen but still softly playing.
“Clueless, the clouds remain on their road
Pulling away from my fumbling touch…
They cannot see who I was, who I’ll be
But remember my whispers and cries…”
Her posture relaxed just slightly while her mind traveled with the undying melody. The words poured out without thought or struggle. Every cell in her body shouted out the emotions lurking beneath the pale skin people envied. Her blue eyes sparkled with enthusiasm only seen upon that small stage. But still, while singing that song she always sang, she had no idea why she was singing it in that place. She didn’t know where she should be.
Then, suddenly, the melody was gone. The words ran out. The emotions sunk back to the filled pool of sadness she was unable to escape. Roar of applause pulled away the freedom she felt for those few minutes and she honestly wanted to cry. She wanted to pull herself under a gravestone etched to an ancient rock. Even the rock is free…
Against the growing despair, she found a faked smile on her face when the piano started playing again. Another song. Another act. Yet another night in a prison without locks.
But it all came to an end that night with a loud ruckus. She startled when the music suddenly stopped and load noises of banging and fighting filled the room. She quickly stood up, ignorant of the crowd that had turned away. They wanted to see each moment of the ongoing fight somewhere within the masses of people. She couldn’t see a thing, but her heart was bounding. Fights always made her nervous, for there was always blood involved.
All of a sudden she could see it. Five men fighting against a single man she had never seen before. White hair shone in the dim lights of the candles, and a sword flickered in the air. It never stopped still, and was tainted with more blood by each slash it took. It hungered and needed to be fed.
“Enough!”
The yell screamed within her ears when she understood it was her very boss who gave the order. This man had done something bad. Something against this very building, these very people. He was everyone’s enemy and that made him even more dangerous. When a beast was cornered, it attacked even stronger.
“Give me a break,” the strange man laughed, panting in the middle of the crowd that was too afraid to attack. The man turned his grinning face towards the owner of the bar. Standing a little side, she still noticed the small strange tattoo-like mark beneath the man’s right eye. “I was just trying to lighten up the mood in here.”
“He was stealing from us in the back!” one of the customers yelled, staring at the strange man. “What kind of an establishment do you keep here, letting thieves roam around?”
The fat owner turned to stare at the strange man. “We do not tolerate thieves around here,” he pointed out, his eyes narrowing in rage. “I suggest you give back what you took and leave this city yet today. Otherwise, we’ll have to force you out.”
For a moment it looked like the strange man was considering the thought. His katana touched the floor as he rubbed his neck, rolling his eyes in full thought. But the same cocky grin spread on his lips fast and he tilted his head. “I’m sincerely grateful for your advice,” he said slowly and pointed his sword towards the owner, “but I’ve taken a liking to this city. Besides,” he continued and tapped his pocket, “I got quite a good payment for today’s work. So I think I’ll go on my own way, if you don’t mind.”
“Don’t try my patience, boy.”
“Look,” the man pointed out, seeming rather bored and bothered by this entire ruckus he had caused. “As I see it, you have two choices as of now. Either you let me walk through that door and go my way, or I’ll make my way there by force. Either way works for me. The question is, how many men do you want to lose here tonight?”
In her life, she had met many types of men. Bars like that were always filled with men who acted strong and tried to threaten others. But this was the first time in her entire life she was afraid. She could tell from that spot this man wasn’t joking. His whole presence emanated strength and anger. The purest anger she had ever seen within her short life.
“Seize him.”
They were just two small words, just a soft statement. But they were the rock that tumbled down the hill and caused the landslide. All hell broke loose when swords were pulled out and screams filled the building. She fell on her knees on the stage, not able to turn away from the bloodshed.
This white haired man was a monster. A demon. There was no defense in his movements, just a roaring brutal attack that tore each opponent apart. His sword cut flesh like butter, and no blade touched his thin body that moved and twisted in perfect harmony with the swords. She could swear the man didn’t even know where the attack came from; his very body moved away from the attack without his own control.
He was the last standing, covered with blood that wasn’t his own. His eyes were filled with pure evil. His hands were shaking for the will to attack against someone else. He was hungering more. His blade wasn’t satisfied just yet. But the only ones standing there with him were the scared women and the owner of the place. A fearful stare had risen upon his bloated red face, and his knees were shaking under the maddened stare of the white haired demon.
“I’m feeling merciful today,” the stranger said, his voice falling even deeper. “This is your last chance. Run or attack.”
She watched aside how the two kept staring at each other. Rage against terror. The man looked thin and weak, but his strength was something she had witnessed only a few times before. That frail body was a disguise that had fooled her perfectly. Standing there with the katana, he looked like a knight ready for war. A true samurai of the country.
“I’ll let you go this time,” the owner growled and found anger to his voice. “But one day, I swear, you’ll regret this.”
The man nodded and sheathed his katana. “I’ll be waiting for that day,” he said with a slight grin and started towards the door. She looked behind him, until something caught her eyes. There was a small locket hanging from his pocket.
Her heart missed a beat when she raised her hand to find the locket she always wore under her kimono. How could this be happening? The one time she forgot the locket to her room, a thief had come and stolen it? Fate surely had something against her.
“Wait!” she yelled and jumped up, taking a few steps towards the man who didn’t even listen. He exited the building, leaving her there with tears in her eyes. Emotions tore her inside out, and a stone suddenly weighed upon her storming heart. No! she screamed within her mind that was raging. No, this can’t be happening!
Unaware what she was doing, her feet started running. She didn’t hear the owner yelling behind her, she didn’t see the other women who tried to stop her. She stormed out of the building to the rainy night and gazed both ways of the road. Her heart was racing, trying to escape her chest with a force that scared her afterwards.
He turned behind a corner. Her feet moved again. World was against her when the slippery mud moved under her awkward shoes. Fate was against her when she tried to run in the tight kimono that refused to give her steps any room. She didn’t know if it were her tears or the rain that burned her eyes. Maybe it was the makeup, running down her face along with the rain. She couldn’t see.
But she knew where to go. “Wait!” she yelled and panted, trying to stop the burning in her chest. The man glanced behind his shoulder and kept going. “Please wait!” she kept yelling and hurried her own steps. She couldn’t let the man escape, not now.
She almost managed to grab a hold on his sleeve when she lost her balance. She instinctively held her breath when she hit the ground, carried a little forward by the slippery mud. She felt the coldness of the water through the kimono and the tears warming her cheeks just slightly. A shot of pain went through her arms that softened her fall and she felt a stick hit her right side. The rain kept on beating her while she lay there, crying with a kimono of mud.
For a long moment everything seemed to stop still. No one helped her. No one cared what happened. But within the cry of pain and distress, she felt a touch of curiosity. She could feel the rain. She felt it with her whole body, and she felt the cold mud under her touch. Shots of shaky emotions went through her and she wasn’t completely sure what it was she felt. Underneath all that sadness, she was exited. Was she going crazy?
A foot appeared right in front of her face, digging slightly to the mud. She slowly peered up along the leg and saw a dark figure against the cloudy sky. The rain poured in her eyes and blocked her view.
“You want to pick a fight, brat?”
She recognized the deep dark voice and found new strength within her body. With all her might she fought herself up from the slippery ground and found the seiza stance. She peered up at the man who seemed irritated. “Please,” she said and bowed deep, her eyes staring at the muddy ground. “Please, give it back.”
“What?”
“You took a locket that is extremely important to me,” she explained and kept to the awkward position. “Please be merciful and return it to me. I beg of you, Sir.”
Silence held strong for a moment until the man snorted and took a step back. “I don’t do charity, girl,” he said coldly, returning the pleading stare she shot at him. She could hear the owner of the bar, the owner of her, running towards them in the rain. “Go back to where you came from and forget about the piece of jewelry. It’s just unnecessary junk.”
Panic took over her when the man started walking away. The owner was screaming somewhere nearby, ready to find her. She didn’t want to go back. Not now when she had tasted the rain and the tears. Not without the locket, the only thing that kept her sane in this twisted world.
“Kill me!”
Unaware she was crying, her eyes turned to the man who stopped. Slowly the man turned around with a puzzled look on his face. “I give you two choices,” she said between her sobs. “Give me back my memories or kill me. I can’t go back… I can’t go back there without my memories. So kill me and set me free.”
A silent chuckle spread throughout the area as the man stepped back to her. “I shall return the choices,” he said dimly and crouched next to the woman. Their eyes peered deep into each other’s and she could swear she saw the evil ruling this strange man. “I give you back the locket, or I’ll help you escape from them.”
“W-what?”
“It’s simple,” he explained, the grin never disappearing from his thin lips. “I know they’re after you to take you back there. I know that house. I’ll help you escape from them, in exchange for this locket. Otherwise I’ll give it back to you now and you’ll return to that prison.” He tilted his head ever so slightly and fell serious. “What do you say?”
In all her life, this moment had never occurred to her. Not in her wildest dreams had she ever seen such events evolving. What was she supposed to do in that moment? Was she to choose the familiar prison or freedom to run for the rest of her life? They weren’t choices. They were just new ways to prison her. But still, they held hope.
“I shall give you the locket if you take me safe,” she said in return, turning her strong gaze at the man who seemed puzzled of her sudden confidence. “But I will choose the location. When we arrive there, I shall reward you with that locket. That is my last decision.”
A moment passed before the man chuckled again and stood up. She stared at the hand held her way. “You have yourself a deal, ma’am,” the man said, pulling her up as soon as she had taken the offered hand. “Now, let’s go before they find us.”
There was no time to think when the man already pulled her with him. Their hands were locked together and the man dragged her along one alley to the other. She was already lost and blindly trusted this man she didn’t even know. Her heart was bounding fast for the simple realization of what she was doing. There were new feelings within her and she didn’t know how to take them.
The walls are gone…